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Thursday, March 3, 2011

I AM AN AGNOSTIC... A SATANIC ENTHUSIAST

"Satanists are atheists who use reason as our means for understanding the universe around us, we consider any who believe themselves to be directly in touch with entities beyond nature to be irrational and untrustworthy. " PHG

so... a brief explanation on how i became to be what i am now.

When I was in high school I was very god-fearing... everything that I do was really for my family, myself and god. I joined Youth For Christ which had worship session and just time to praise the Lord before classes start. Everytime I go to church and I listen to the homily, I felt so enlightened and burden-free.. It was like nothing could go wrong and I was so blessed. Until I got into college and started studying about Philosophy when my professor was starting to question about god I was really furious and i immediately thought that he was a crazy person. But then as days wore on and I started reading about it, my beliefs started to crash. Its like I feel that all this time I was tricked. and I had no freedom... and I was only sure of god and christ and mary because that was the only thing that I learned since I was a child. They always tell me that Satan was evil yadda yadda... but then in philosophy it questioned if Satan was really evil as she seemed since God created everything good and with purpose then he must have also created satan which makes satan good and with purpose...So how can that be god's worst enemy? And the questions kept piling up like word vomit. So I did a lot of research on my own.. different books and sites about other religion. And i found it to be very interesting... that I never knew that such other sides existed and where as good as what I believed in and maybe even better. So i decided to weigh in and see which fits my personality and preferences.. it turned out that it was Satanism, or having no religion, or being neutral.. those were the choices that remained. So a year or more after... here I am... an agnostic and a satanic philosophy enthusiast...


Okay today when I came home I immediately went to my mother's room just to say that I am home... sooo she suddenly spoke up and said " I saw your facebook earlier.. Why did you write that you are an agnostic and is inclined to the satanic philosophy?" and I said "Its not that I am inclined to your definition of evil, its cause I do agree with their philosophy more than that of the catholics" and then she said "So you don't believe in god?" sounding so concern that I almost felt sorry that I told her the truth... I said "Its not that I don't believe I just have doubts" and then she replied "edit your profile. You don't want anyone to misinterpret what you believe in because people will not understand your side because they don't know what it truly meant to be agnostic or worse satanic"and I just mumbled cause I really didn't know what to say.. I didn't want to tell her "yeah I will" cause I really think that I should express myself in any way that I could. I do not want to be barred by what society dictates just because satanism does seem like a minority group. Facebook is a way for people to connect and get to know each other. And i think that changing that statement would only make my profile fake... more importantly, it would portray that I WAS A FAKE. I would be lying to myself if i wrote that I was a christian and I love god and yadda yadda like a lot of people do just to gain adoration from others. I don't care if people would see me differently just because I have different beliefs. What is important is i don't hide it... and I don't lie...People are being hypocrites for saying that they love god and they are the good people in this world. These ignorant people are usually the real sinners.. They do a lot of bad things.. and just say sorry afterwards as if that could erase what they did.. Atleast even though I have admitted that I have a different stand, i still choose to do what feels right for me.. If i feel good helping people then thats what I will do.. regardless of how other may perceive me to be..

I seriously don't want to be labeled or to be a part of any religion. If given a chance to change how things are in this world... the first thing I will do is eliminate all of it... I think that it leads to the great divide which separates people and bring them into a never ending dispute. What we should really have is an authentic freedom which gives us the right to do what we think is right and follow what we want to believe in. Not some snotty religion who dictates what's wrong or right for you, because to be honest, your chosen religion basically commands you and instill in you their beliefs.. and you will never have any original beliefs of your own.

Cause if the dominant religion really tries to understand and be open about all this, there is nothing wrong with choosing to not believe or to believe in something else.. It is the right of every human being. Parents should not try to teach their kids at a very young age to go to a church and listen to homilies that they will never understand with that level of intelligence.. They should teach them how to make the right decisions, without imposing their own biases. And when the right time comes and a child becomes mature enough to choose how to live his/her life, then they will choose their own path and they could proudly say that they do own their lives. Because in the end, it all boils down to one's self.

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